I got tired of waiting for spring: still, most of what I see when I look out my window is snow (still, I get this nagging guilty feeling that I want the snow to go away already – I should be taking full advantage of this bounty! I should be out on skis! I even have waxless skis now so I could handle the conditions!)
Instead of waiting any more, I have simply declared the snowbanks irrelevant, and yesterday, I put the skis away and hauled out my bike. The same bike that I shoved in the barn with so little care sometime last summer. Note that it didn’t self tune-up, and is in worse shape than when I got bored with biking. It has some new rust spots, the wheels still need new bearings, the brakes are still poorly adjusted, the front derailleur is still finicky. The bike clearly needs some work, and from a professional. The reason it didn’t get that last year was that I was too busy riding it to want to give it up for a week while somebody fiddled with it. And then, when I got bored with riding, having it tuned up was low on my priority list – I was too busy fiddling with that flaky rudder rail on my sea kayak. And since the bike needs professional maintenance, and I am not a professional, I simply glopped on some lube and pumped the tires up to not much pressure (not sure of what surfaces I would have on the side roads). And off I went.
There are things you wait for for months, and you can’t believe they’re happening and life is so, so great! Riding a bike for the first time in the spring, after months of lame group indoor cycling, that should be one of those times! This, however, was not one of those times. Sure, it was kind of cool to be outside, but I thought of a new complaint with every pedal stroke. Here is a sample of my complaints, in order:
1. My helmet feels too tight because I am wearing a toque under it.
2. MEC rad pants are the worst bike pants ever, because they are too baggy below and don’t have any stretchy bits in the hip area so I feel confined with my layers of long underwear and rad pants. Plus, I feel like I’m sliding forward on the seat.
3. My nose is cold.
4. My bike gloves didn’t fit inside my windblocking gloves, so there is no cushioning on my palms. My palms are uncomfortable.
5. My rear wheel needs truing. My brakes rub a tiny bit on every turn.
6. I don’t have enough tire pressure. I shouldn’t have to push so hard.
7. I have to push really hard up this hill.
8. I am out of breath. I think my helmet strap is keeping me from breathing! I can’t get enough air!
9. I’m hot. Stupid x-country ski jacket that I repurposed as wind shell has no pit zips. Unzip front.
10. Helmet strap is driving me crazy. I take off toque and put in jacket pocket.
11. Bulge in jacket pocket bothers me with every pedal stroke. I take toque and shove down front of fleece shirt to get out of way.
12. My brakes still rub.
13. Now my ears are cold.
14. And there is another damn hill. Push push push aaaaaaaagh still having trouble getting air into lungs, now I am gasping and feeling like I’m going to barf even though my heart rate is nowhere near anaerobic zone.
15. Sweating. Too many layers on top. Unzip jacket further, unzip fleece shirt to mid-sternum.
16. My nose is running. I have slime in my throat. I cough up slime, turn head and spit. It doesn’t totally detach from me. Gross.
17. Gloves sullied with hork now. I wipe nose on them since already revolting.
18. Water bottle seems too tall for cage. It is listing to side, and I bump into it frequently.
19. I am on long uphill with headwind. Stupid headwind. Coming down hill is spandex-clad racing type who flashes me cheerful grin and wave. He is not wearing stupid rad pants with cold ears and runny nose and rubbing brakes with toque stuffed down front of shirt and rooster tail on white ski jacket riding with low tire pressure up and up and up and into the wind, of course he is flashing cheerful smiles and waves.
20. Bottom of rad pants get caught on sprockets and tear a tiny bit. Stupid rad pants.
21. Realize rest of the way home is in 30km/hr headwind. Even the downhills, of which there are few, feel like uphills.
22. Push push push push push. I finally have enough on the last hill before home, and I unclip and push up the hill.
23. I turn into driveway, which is all mud and slush and ice. I make it maybe 30m before I am out of momentum, and my slicks can’t find anything to push against. Done. 28 km, most of which sucked.
That was yesterday. This morning, I fiddled with the brakes until they didn’t rub anymore, and I took tire pressure up to 60 – after all, I had no hope on the icy patches even if I did have low tire pressure because I’m too lazy to change my slicks for nubbys, and I didn’t like having to work so hard. I bent the water bottle cage to be a tighter fit for my bottle. I rethought my wardrobe, and today’s look featured the same base layer of polypro and the same fleece shirt and ski shell, but I ditched the rad pants in favour of some polyester gym pants which I tucked into sealskin socks. Under the sealskins, I had a thin polypro liner sock. I got rid of the windblocker fleece toque and put on a much thinner wool one with a fleece liner around the ears. Kept the helmet and the sunglasses, but adjusted the helmet straps to accommodate a toque, and the now snotty windblocking gloves. Added a handlebar bag to shove toque in if I needed to, and tossed in mobile phone and brake adjusting tools and granola bar and cash just in case. Check weather, decide that 30km/hr headwind is no problem if the first half of the ride is into it. Go.
And today’s ride was all that a first of the season ride should be. I pushed hard into the wind, when I was ready, I turned around and flew home. It felt great. The only downsides were a) my feet were cold, I should have put wool socks inside those sealskins, but I can only do so much bulk inside my bike shoes; and b) there were three nasty farm dogs that were not tied up. One of them really did require that I push my heart rate into the anaerobic zone – I stood on the pedals going as hard as I could, and I still just barely outpaced it. At least this time, when it felt like I was going to throw up, it was for a reason. The other two dogs were on the far side of Highway 7, and they were about to make a go at running across the road and shredding my carefully put together wardrobe along with my leg, but just then a long stream of traffic stopped them and I was a good 500m away before they had a break and apparently decided it was not worth it.
Also, my nose got snotty again, and there was more hork. I was better at the spitting today.
33km of fun and 1km of panicked pedal like hell to get away from dogs. Not so bad for now. My overly ambitious goal is to put on 1000km (outside, bike class does not count) before the bike trip at the end of May. We shall see.