Rick is German and an engineer, so it really should come as no surprise that he likes the word “efficient”. When it comes to traveling, that’s not a word that can be applied to me – scattered, perhaps, and gullible. But not efficient.
But hey, I am German enough that I can understand the desire to do things with minimal effort, 
so why not apply that to travel? Why not see *all* of China in a *day* - *and* take Rick’s portraits of himself and his lovely Mac (they are inseparable, those two) along the way. I figured that was one feat of efficiency that you couldn’t really poke fun at unless you had a teleporter! So instead, I poke fun at Rick. Hey, he said I was allowed!
See, I’d already been to the Ethnic Culture Museum, so I knew that you could find idealized versions of all of the Chinese ethnic minorities’ regions, conveniently located on one large property with properly sized concrete trees and boat rentals on a pond the size of a prairie dugout. 
Oh yes! We were going to travel all of China. If the teleporter had been working, we could have followed that feat up with a trip to the Epcot Centre in Florida, and we would have pictures from *all over the world*. Instead, you will have to settle for pictures from our Chinese- adventure-in-a-day.
I could do this writeup that would actually require research and tell you a little bit about each culture (beyond “they live in x province and make buildings out of y materials, they number z.q million people). We painstakingly kept to our rigourous (sorry, *efficient*) order of 1. establishing shot of ethnic village, 2. Rick perched somewhere *in* village, telecommuting or whatever the geek word is. 
We were really very German about this whole process. But the efficiency on my part is reflected glory, and thus in *this* writeup, I’ve gone all higgledy-piggledy with which concrete tree belongs to what ethnic minority group. Instead, I’ll just upload a lot of pictures of Rick playing with his pooter and snigger and point and say “geek”. Maybe I’ll even make jokes that illustrate a mental age of 12 (what? One of the minorities is called Tu Long. And there was an arrow pointing in that direction, and the arrow was maybe a meter or so off the ground. Elementary school humour at its finest.)
You know, it was a pretty fun day. I liked the part where we went into the Mongolian yurt and they made us tea that tasted like it had roasted grain in it and the tables and chairs were so tiny that we thought the tables were benches. I think Rick liked the part where he deliberately misunderstood the danger! Danger! signs and climbed into the concrete tree and wandered around the sky above me. I was busy 
plotting my innocent bystander/random tourist routine in case he got arrested or something. Who, him? I don’t know him!
There you go, China in a day, very efficient! With not a single traffic snarl, not counting the taxi ride back to the hotel. The Ethnic Culture Museum was the most peaceful place I went in Beijing, but that's not that surprising: at 90 RMB for an unfinished museum, it's perhaps a bit steep (for comparison, the Forbidden City cost 45 RMB, and the two parks at the Wall combined came to no more than 90 RMB either).
Yeah, I know. The joke should have worn thin about an hour into the game. But we were tired, and we thought it was funny for at least three hours. After that, we had gone too far with our theme of the day to stop, so we kept taking goofy pictures... and really, spending an afternoon being silly vs. sitting inside a taxi or a hotel? Kind of a no-brainer. You would have had fun too, if you were there.